#The pain continues

[vveirdvvitch]

Current status: eating too many sour gummy worms and writing about pegging Edward Nashton

[book-addicted-thing]

you don't understand- his happy lil smile as he grabs Crowley's hand, Crowley going willingly because it's his angel, he can't refuse

There is something wrong. There is something really wrong.

[diasdebruyne]

I'll just be going about my day and then I'll remember that we bottled it against united

[causeequalstime]

Medical testing save meeeeeee

[3liza]

i would do so well in a low gravity environment. i think of it wistfully

[book-addicted-thing]

when we first saw the Metatron I went "haha funny old man in his long coat giving the verbal equivalent of a good bonk on a head to the archangels" and then he started manipulating Aziraphale and I went from "haha" to "hohOHOHO" and you just saw Aziraphale becoming more confused and panicked because he had to make a decision.

The metatron, the funny old guy in the funny old coat was putting pressure on Aziraphale to get him to heaven. It hurt because if Aziraphale had simply said "I need to sleep on this" Crowley would've been there and would've told him all about how the Metatron was lying and how he should know because he's a demon and they lie (something we see him say multiple times throughout the season).

I also want to believe that God, who has seen Aziraphale lying through his teeth to her, never wanted Aziraphale to go through such stuff, let alone being manipulated and pressured into the place where she wanted him to be (according to the Metatron, that is).

And, when Aziraphale asks the Metatron what the next step in the Big Plan is the Metatron doesn't give him an answer. Is that because Aziraphale wouldn't agree with the plan if he heard it and that he would thus go back to Crowley and forget all about what the Metatron had offered him?

So there's a lot to unpack here but I want to start by talking about the ending and specifically about the Metatron and the calculating moves made at the end of episode 6.

Every single piece of what happened there was a manipulation technique being employed against Aziraphale to an almost brilliant degree and I'm honestly a little obsessed with what this says about the Metatron in particular.

Let's go in order.

First of all. We see him order coffee. In a human body. Something sweet and sugary. He talks to Nina and asks her about her shop name. Does anyone ever ask for death? And when she tells him no they don't his response is to say "so predictable". Our introduction to him here even when everything about him reads like a sweet old man is presented to show us someone who reads the world in terms of being predictable to him.

He then shows up in the middle of Aziraphale's existence being threatened. He immediately cuts down the threat's authority (using outdated language like Az himself would favor) and reemphasizes his own connection to Heaven. When Michael doesn't recognize him and he puts her down and then directly engages Crowley. Crowley who, to Aziraphale, has for centuries at a minimum been someone he thinks is smarter, better, more Good than these other archangels. The Metatron validates these beliefs. Crowley is more Heavenly than these archangels who couldn't even recognize the voice of God when he was standing right in front of them.

The Metatron draws attention to the fact he's in a human body. The kind of body Aziraphale has been in and loved for nearly 6000 years. He then banishes the archangels, implying their morality is in a gray space, and validates Muriel someone we have seen Aziraphale react positively to and someone outside the current power structure. Look at me, he's saying. I see and validate the little guy.

He then tries to talk to Aziraphale. Aziraphale says "I've made my position quite clear." And then the Metatron offers Aziraphale the coffee. This bartering chip, consuming sustenance, is a thing that Aziraphale and Crowley have used as their connective tissue for centuries. It's an olive branch for them. It's giving Aziraphale bodily pleasure and the Metatron implies that he himself has partaken also - a thing we know that Aziraphale has struggled historically with moralizing. He is seen by the closest thing he has left to his parent and he is having old fears validated as safe and old habits being played upon to make him feel secure

He then REMOVES Aziraphale from his home terf. Not only does he remove Crowley from the equation but he takes Aziraphale from the place that has stood as a place of sanctuary throughout the entirety of the season. The shop is Safe and Aziraphale is leaving it and he is leaving the one person who might be able to smell the bullshit coming from the Metatron. The music notably turns absolutely dire here.

The next time we see them the Metatron tells Aziraphale that he doesn't need to answer instantly. He can take his time, if he likes. All the time he needs. And then tells him to go tell Crowley. Once again bringing Crowley in as a valid part of this while manufacturing a scenario where he can't possibly be.

Az ends up in a place where he's overwhelmed and confused and he wants so badly to believe what he's being told. It's an appealing thing from his perspective! He feels off kilter like he's made a mistake in judging the Metatron. He can't even fully articulate what happened to Crowley at first and he's had absolutely no real time to actually think it through. He's running on sheer reactive energy.

The Metatron starts their conversation by asking Aziraphale's opinion. Who should rule Heaven? This is once again playing into making Az feel validated and like he's a part of this decision making process. The Metatron corrects him, complimenting Aziraphale and making him feel capable and in control. He reassures Aziraphale's bafflement. And draws attention to some traits that, while true of Aziraphale around Crowley, are not his defining traits in the eyes of Heaven. You don't just tell people what they want to hear I find particularly notable in this regard given Aziraphale spent most of his time on earth actively lying to Heaven and doing just that. But it fits into the narrative Aziraphale has built around himself, especially post Apocalypse. The Metatron then says I need you (a phrase Az will use much more painfully here in a minute).

And even after all this Aziraphale says no. He says flat out he doesn't want to go back to Heaven. He says this!!! And then the Metatron sweetens the pot. He swaps tactics. Not once has this come up until Aziraphale pushes back against the idea. If the Metatron could've gotten him without using it I have no doubt he wouldn't have bothered with it. Come to Heaven and we can save Crowley. Aziraphale loves Crowley. Aziraphale thinks Crowley is better than any of the angels he's interacted with. Crowley is Good and Nice and Kind and always saving him and now he's being presented with a way to return that. He can Forgive Crowley - a thing Crowley has always presented to Aziraphale as something he struggles with. All of these things Aziraphale has watched Crowley react to in a way that belittles himself or distances them from one another. Of course he wouldn't consider that maybe what he was actually saying is "I'm unforgivable and I don't want that forgiveness."

The Metatron offers Aziraphale a Dream Offer for the pre Armageddon Aziraphale. You can keep your Crowley. You can heal him like you have always thought he deserved. You can have power and control the people who for your whole existence has beaten you down. It can go back to how it was but BETTER.

When Aziraphale leaves he still hasn't answered. He goes and has the conversation they have. It's intense and emotional and the Metatron comes in after the Moment all casual and asks how it goes, knowing fully well the shitstorm he had just set up to get created. And then he turns around and says "always did want to go his own way" which is not only true of Crowley but framed as a bad thing despite the fact that he has just spent twenty minutes or so telling Aziraphale that he's done his own thing and that is Good. He is playing both sides of this perspective as it suits him. And then he cuts down Crowley asking questions, pressuring Aziraphale to avoid doing the same. He then proceeds to ask Aziraphale not if he's made up his mind but if he's ready to get started. He is one by one closing off exit routes to this thing as Aziraphale starts to look more and more panicked and indecisive. He makes sure the bookshop is in good hands and asks Aziraphale if there's anything he needs to take with him. Letting Aziraphale have the illusion of choice while cutting down "I don't want to" as an option altogether.

And Az, as soon as the Metatron is out of shot, tries to express this. And then he falls back right on old coping methods. The Metatron pats him on the head. Reassures that he's the right one for this. That he is Good. That his particular skillset is needed here.

It is a masterstroke of manipulation. A very dark twist on what we see Crowley do time and time again with Aziraphale throughout the millennia. Familiar in a way that makes Aziraphale feel safe. Except this time this is being used to put him back in line. It's brilliant and painful and it fucking hurt and I need a season 3 to see the Metatron get what's coming to him stat.

[argonblue]

Historia Viventem

[khattikeri]

another specific thing i love about mxtx's books is that they all have scenes that EASILY could've been romanticized rape if written by someone else, but she purposely avoids playing it straight.

we have the land of the tenders, a classic "aphrodisiac flowers" scenario. hua cheng (as hong'er) could've forced himself on xie lian in the name of "serving his prince." xie lian could've simply succumbed and forced himself on hong'er, or reluctantly asked him to "help." xie lian instead stabs himself and fights through the agonizing pain without touching hong'er at all, because hong'er was a teenage boy.

we have phoenix mountain, where wei wuxian is blindfolded and alone in a relatively deserted area, weakened unbeknownst to anyone else because he no longer has a golden core. and true enough, lan wangji pins wei wuxian down and forces a kiss on him. but lan wangji also immediately, viscerally regrets it. he runs away so furious with himself he starts punching trees. he never once does anything like it again until wei wuxian is resurrected and purposely, consensually provokes him into things like that.

finally, we have scum villain, and all its intricately twisted, overlapping power dynamics. i truly do mean the vast majority of the novel. there are SO many times where either shen qingqiu or luo binghe could've forced themselves on the other. and unlike mxtx's other books, scum villain does have a mutually nonconsensual sex scene where luo binghe is under the influence of dark, corrupt magic and shen qingqiu is unable to fight back because of system transmigration sci-fi shit.

however, unlike many other nonconsensual danmei sex scenes, this one is intentionally written to be extremely unsexy. the narration bluntly says it hurt for shen qingqiu. luo binghe, a fairly manipulative person, is sincerely distraught and in tears when he regains his senses. they both hated it equally and the story doesn't handwave that away. neither of them get horny over it. luo binghe especially loathes remembering it. after they get together, whenever shen qingqiu so much as furrows his brows during sex, luo binghe canonically stops.

the way mxtx plays around with and toes the line of consent tropes may not be comfortable for everyone to read, but i enjoyed her stories even more for it.

[pink-november]

was replaying HEA recently (wanted to hear skeptic) and one particular line stood out to me...

ough it was keeping them small by confining them in shapes that no longer fit them, kept in roles that they had long outgrown of, kept from changing and thriving by trapping both in an endless cycle

anyways that wasn't my point but do you know who also made a comment about being small after being trapped in a torturous nightmare, molded to fit someone else's desire, left to rot and wither, unable to escape the gilded cage they are trapped in

[catcherwrites]

For the record, you can pry my “Sarai used to be in the Crownguard before she married Harrow” headcanon from my cold, dead hands

Amaya trained the Standing Battalion and Sarai trained the Crownguard, and their ability to work together is why Katolis had the strongest fighting force in the Pentarchy

You can also pry “Sarai and Soren were insanely close before her death” from my cold, dead hands. Maybe not even then, because I’m gripping this idea tightly, even in death

Sarai helped Soren and his family manage his illness because of her experience with Damian. And Soren was just so excited that the Head Crownguard was hanging out with him! Even when he was at his worst, he’d always perk up if he could see Sarai train the soldiers from his bedroom window, or regale him with stories of legendary battles at his bedside

After Soren got better and Sarai left the Crownguard to become Princess of Katolis, she offered to show him the basics of swordplay and strategy to help Soren with all of his pent-up energy. Even though he wouldn’t be interested in poetry until years later, Soren was introduced to the concept through Sarai, who’d recite some of Damian’s old work for him during their time together. Sarai had essentially become one of Soren’s constants after his family fell apart with Lissa leaving, Viren growing cold, and Claudia throwing herself into magic

At least until she died, heroically saving his dad

[sam-reid]

Sam Reid as Lestat de Lioncourt INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE 2.03: NO PAIN.

[moresandmanstuff]

Charles Rowland

Edwin Payne

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

"Why did you change my name to 'Mr.Eaten?'"

Collaboration with the amazing @foongle! Go check them out!

[Hungry for more? Join my Ko-Fi to see WIPs and extras!]

[reichurine]

(The tiny me cares a lot)

based of this song

i hope kakavasha gets to rest for his day

[chlorine-green]

aw man it's agonies of the flesh again

context/ source:

[tategaminu]

He's my babygirl